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Copyrights reserved by the author. If you are in doubt, please click on 'Copyrights' and read the details. The Perfect Valentine's Day Gift. By J. G. Fabiano Valentine's Day is one of those pseudo-holidays that shopping-phobics like myself hate the most. There are few benefits associated with this day. You don't get the day off from work or school, everything is opened including all government agencies and the post office, and it falls at a time of year when one is just starting to put a dent in one's Christmas bills. But, this will be the year I will finally buy that perfect Valentine's Day gift for my Debbie. This will be the year that she will gasp in awe that I was brilliant enough to pick out the perfect gift instead of sighing and hoping that I didn't lose the receipt. This will be the year that I won't fail to find the perfect gift, only to run over to the York Flower Shop at the last minute to have Laura Kennedy make a floral display to at least show my wife that I cared. The question I have is what is the perfect Valentine's Day gift? For the past few Valentine Days I was tempted to purchase a new cat. The cat I have now is a white Persian who has basically taken over my house. In other words, when I hear my wife exclaim, "Darling", I now know it has nothing to do with me. For the past few years I have stayed away from wearing the color black and have lost half my friends due to allergies. But, it is a great cat and my wife has come to love it more than life itself. The biggest problem is whether or not the cat will allow another cat to enter the house. Since I don't want to have to put an addition on my home I thought it best to leave this option out another year. I could always buy her another cashmere sweater or tapestry vest. But, how many sweaters does a person need. About fifteen years ago my wife told me that she liked cashmere sweaters so every time a holiday or birthday arrives I buy her one of those sweaters and since she has returned the last six years worth of sweaters I think a change of gift is due. As for the tapestry vest, I saw it on television a few days ago. I asked her if she wanted one and she came back and asked me when the last time I saw her in a vest. Needless to say this option was quickly snuffed out. I also saw an advertisement for a goatskin jacket. It was light tan in color and I think I saw her in something similar during this past winter. But, what if she is allergic to goatskin? Even worse, what if she likes her goats alive instead of draped dead on her back? This $350.00 chance was not worth taking! I could get her a hugs and kisses bracelet but I know she would start to wonder if I thought we were sixteen years old again. A personalized musical jewelry box could be an option but I have no concept of what song I should place in it. A song can be a dangerous thing because a few years ago I bought her a Valentine's Day romantic love song CD and ever since she wonders why I would think she even liked that type of music. In fact, she still wonders if I was thinking of someone else. In my quest for that perfect gift I noticed a fragrant candle in a silver-plated chalice. I almost bought it until I realized that the last time I bought her some candles we had to repaint our entire house due to the soot given off by the candles. And since we didn't have an alter in our house the idea of a chalice lost its potential as a possible gift. For the past few days the purchase of that perfect Valentine's Day gift has become a challenge. I found Waterford silver puffed heart key ring. I came very close to buying it until I remembered that I use her keys when I have to drive her car. Having a puffed silver heart-shaped key ring hanging from my belt did not make my masculine side feel very comfortable. I found four Werreques baskets from Columbia that had an interesting appearance to them but also had a not so interesting scent. I looked at a pair of Baule silver combs that could have become a gift had I had any idea what they could be used for. Combs to the follically challenged is never a good way to go. I am not talking about my wife. I am talking about me! A prescriptive became a possibility as soon as I found out what a prescriptive was, but, since I had no idea of shades or colors and I did not want my wife to look like she was an immigrant from China I thought it best to leave this possibility alone. I even attempted to find something on the Internet this year. One of the companies offered a Valentine Assurance Program. They promised that if I order by noon on February 13, the store will do whatever it takes to deliver my gift on or before February 14 at no extra charge. This looked like a great idea until I had to decide between chocolate-dipped strawberry roses, a spa secret gift basket with a romance and spa transformation tote, heart-shaped vases and storage, a blue angel, or a drum bowl. I thought it best to click out of this address as soon as possible. I did this because I assumed that the chocolate roses probably tasted like dead roses, the spa stuff would probably remind my wife that I promised to take her back to the spa before the turn of the next century, plus I had no idea what a tote was. Heart-shaped anything were destined to be knocked over and thus smashed on the floor, a blue angel means that a real angel was probably gasping for air, and a drum bowl was something I know I could never learn to play. I even considered a romantic book that she could enjoy. I looked at one that was entitled, "Love poems and sonnets of William Shakespeare". I almost bought it until I wondered if I would have to read it to her as I fed her chocolate-dipped strawberry roses from a drum bowl that was held by a blue and soon to be dying angel. So, here I sit, surrounded by catalogs and newspaper advertisements with my computer showing what is supposed to be the perfect Valentine's Day gift. I wonder what time York Flower Shop stays opened to on February 14th!
The End
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